The CaucAsian

I keep finding the most appropriate quotes for this blog! It's almost as if the universe is telling me that I finally had a good idea and to run with it! We'll see.

My Starbucks cup gave me this saying from Youssou N'Dour, "People need to see that, far from being an obstacle, the world's diversity of languages, religions and traditions is a great treasure, affording us precious opportunities to recognize ourselves in others."

And there is your "EMBRACE CULTURE!" Quote of the Day!

On to today's blogging topic. As a kid in elementary school I was introduced to those beloved yet dreaded bubble sheets. Back in the day they didn't come pre-filled out like they do for University Exams. No indeed. Every bubble had to be shaded in ever so perfectly otherwise you got the wrong answer by default.

I think this is the first realization that I wasn't just any old minority. I was the super minority (I wonder if I get a cape)!! When filling out personal information, there was a bubble selection that asked you to fill in your ethnicity. I was torn. Do I put Caucasian?? Or do I put in Asian/Pacific Islander?! I'm sure you can imagine a 7 year old perfectionist freaking out about the decision at hand. I raised my hand and asked my teacher which I should bubble in. She said to fill in the Asian/Pacific Islander. Funny. I never thought of myself as Asian. I always thought I was quite white!

And people seem to agree with me. Most of the time when I tell people that I am half Chinese they look at me closer and say, "Oh! You're right! Your eyes do look a little Asian! I would never have noticed unless you had told me!" Either people are incredibly unobservative or I'm just really white looking.

I'm 5'4" 145lbs. Pretty mediocre. Dark mocha hair that shines red in the sun. I used to have to argue with people who INSISTED my hair was black. I guess they thought I had magical hair that magically turned a red/brown color in the sun. Or that I didn't know my own hair color. Hmm. I've "slightly" Asian eyes. I have brown/green irises, no eyelid, and they are almond shaped. I don't know how much more Asian they have be before being TRULY ASIAN eyes, but obviously they don't fit the credentials quite yet. Sigh. My mother always tells me that my nose is very European and not flat/Chinese at all. My skin is often translucent during all seasons; although, one summer I did ride my bike a lot and ended up looking slightly creamy. Slightly. Once a boy told me to put away my legs because they were reflected the sunlight off of them and blinding him. Yeah. Translucently sun reflective skin.

Obviously from that description, when people meet me they do not instantly shout out, "ASIAN! ASIAN!! I'VE SPOTTED ANOTHER ASIAN!!!" Shame, really. I think I would quite like that.

This lack of Asianness has bothered me for a while. Why can't I look more Asian?! I love being Asian and eating the world's weirdest smelling/looking foods!! I love "attempting" to speak a different language (later story to come)!! I love all things cute just like Asians do!! I LOVE Asian fashion!!! Why can't I be more Asian?!

Well. It's because I'm not full Asian. Besides, I like being caucasian too. I love living in the United States of America even if our economy = the pits right now. I love speaking English, one of the most universal languages around. I like not dying of random diseases that always seem to start up in Asia.

SO! I settle for being myself. A CaucAsian. I think they made Caucasian the official whiter person term just for me. Just so I could fit inbetween the two categories.

Wanna see some moon eyes? SAILOR MOON MOON EYES!!