The Father Prevails

So I don't think I should over-generalize on either side of this but, Caucasians, especially males in America, enjoy their sports. To the extreme. I personally find it incredibly annoying.

While growing up the only influence I had, as far as sports fanaticism went, was when my mother rooted for her college football team (for the rivalry game of course) by bringing a TON of blue and white jelly beans to her red and white rooting workplace. Since my mother was not around very often while growing up I was not heavily influenced by her love for her college team. I'm sure she's now regrets more fully that she was not around to instill that burning love into me especially since I went to that college and still don't love the sports team. It's okay mom. I'm all the better for it! Believe me!

My father once revealed to me that he loved playing soccer on his roof growing up in Hong Kong, but that's the only sports related thing I've ever heard him utter.

Needless to say I've grown up as a minority in the 89% Caucasian state of Utah (Yess!!! I just checked and there 2.2% of Utah residents are "Two or More Races"!). When people started talking sports the hair on my back would rise and I'd begin to hiss. After a while the guys I hung out with learned to not include me on sports talk and just ignore me like every other girl even if I did sometimes resemble a boy.

Fanaticism. What do I see wrong with it? I'll tell you. The human mind is an interesting thing. It likes to attach itself to lots of different things. Take Twilight for example. There are teenage girls and boys all over the WORLD now who have become obsessive/fanatic about this book. And it's scary. Almost as scary as sports fanatics.

Let's look at how being that attached to a sport will negatively effect the human race:

1) The human mind morphs to somehow create the illusion that by rooting for a favorite team that they are somehow actually a part of the team. A self identity crisis begins to ensue. Suddenly they cannot tell the difference between themselves and the team. They begin to refer to the team as "We." (i.e. "We just SMASHED BYU!!") I'm sorry. You are not playing the game no matter how much you dream about it at night. You were not skilled, brawny, tough, good looking, or talented enough to make it onto that sports team. Get over it. Have a HEALTHY love for the game. Say, "The UofU just SMASHED BYU!!" or "My favorite team just SMASHED BYU!!" This sentence is a perfect segue into my next point.

2) Becoming a fanatic instantly transforms you into a caveman-like creature. The only thing you focus on is that game much like the caveman focused only on finding food to eat. The only difference between you and the caveman is that the caveman is smart enough to focus on something that will keep him alive. You focus on something totally detrimental to your well being. You not only become an idiot stuck to your tv, or now computers what with technology exploding, but you also lose family respect (unless of course you've brain washed your children into becoming as idiotic as you).

3) Becoming a sports fanatic instantly makes your "World's Most Annoying Person to Be Around" points SKYROCKET. We're at work. No. I do not want to know what the current points are on the game. No. I do NOT want to celebrate my birthday with the company by taking my sacred 1 hour lunch time and dedicating it to the current basketball tournament. No. I do not want to hear you bad mouthing my school's sports team even if I don't give a flying shit about whether or not they win or lose. No. It does not annoy me that you're making fun of my school. It annoys me that you still think I'd care to hear about sports even though I named my bracket "WTF IS THIS?! I HATE SPORTS!!!" In the end all this conversation just makes you look like a tactless fool anyways. *rolls eyes as co-worker begins to slander my school, yet again. Of COURSE he's made sure that I can hear*

4) Being a fanatic suddenly creates a narcissistic nation. #1 mixes in with #3 and suddenly you get this ginromiously big headed giant monster of DOOM. Suddenly you think you are FAR superior to your fellow man because "your team" is kicking your fellow human being, with a healthy love for their favorite sports team's, ass. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING YOU BLABBERING IMBECILE!!!! THE MEN WHO HAVE WORKED HARD ALL YEAR LONG TO KICK ASS HAVE DONE IT!!!! GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE SADDEST PART IS THAT I'M TURNING INTO YOU SAYING, "YESSS!! I'M KICKING YOUR ASS ON THESE BRACKET TROUNAMENTS ON YAHOO AND I DON"T GIVE A FLYING TARD ABOUT SPORTS!!! SO EAT THAT!!!" I'M FREAKIN' GIVING IN TO THE IDIOT STATE OF MIND THAT YOU'RE SPREADING!!! STOP IT!!!!

*takes deep breath*

I'm sure this post wouldn't have been so full of hate had I not written it at work while in the midst of all the sports fanatic fever currently going on. Of course I don't hate the people who have a healthy love for sports. It's okay to root for your team! It's okay to celebrate when your team wins. But the second you start acting superior to another group of human beings is the second you turn into a fascist-like pig. You are not superior. You are just like everyone else with different talents/skills to add to our human race. Get over yourselves already.


I blame my Caucasian culture for influencing me to have such a volatile temper.